Where a Dream Splits

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“Why do two people fall in love?” It is not really a question with a definite answer. But it is a question that ought to be answered by two people in love. Because if they can’t; then they are just wasting their time together.

“Why are you asking me that?” The question takes her off guard. But I know she can handle impromptu scenarios very well. There is a confidence in her voice. The answer will come, I know it.

“Because I don’t understand the concept of love,” and that is true. “I mean, I saw you, my heart skipped a beat. I asked you out and you said yes. I asked you again and you never denied. We both just knew it from the beginning, didn’t we? That is weird.”

She leans ahead and rests her elbow on the table. “What is bothering you?”

There are these waves of questions hitting me every now and then. The irony is that you cannot separate one wave from the other.

“I had a dream early morning. You know that thing about early morning dreams? They often come true.”

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“I had a dream early morning,” a feeling of déjà vu takes over me. I struggle to recall if I have had this conversation before.

“I have some bad news.” He looks away from me. I can feel my heart throbbing in my throat. A bad news is even worse when they come from your best friends.

“She is seeing someone.” He says after a few tense moments. “I am sorry.” And then the déjà vu is gone, vanished.

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“You wanna talk about it,” there is a profound concern in her voice that cannot be ignored. I breathe deep and sigh.

“I had this dream. We were holding hands and walking down a long endless road. We were happily singing the true companion song,

So don’t you dare and try to walk away,

I’ve got my heart set on our wedding day.

I’ve got this vision of a girl in white,

Made my decision that it’s you allright.

The endless road did not seem to bother us. What mattered was that we were together, holding on to each other, and living our life together.

That was until the road split into two. We went our separate ways. Walking alone was a nightmare. No one to hold hand with, no one to dream along with, no one to sing for, no one to die for.

The roads will meet again someday, somewhere. I consoled my lonely heart every single moment. And when they finally did, you were there.

But you had found someone on your way. The path I chose was the same that we both started with. The path you chose was the one we split at. I continued to treasure our dreams. It was hard to see you with someone. There were mixed emotions, should I be happy for you or should I feel betrayed?”

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I look blankly in his face. He is waiting for me to say something.

“I am happy for her.” There is mixed emotion in my voice. The heart cries, feeling betrayed. There were no promises made, none broken. The roads have met again, and the dream has come true.

Song courtesy: Marc Cohn

Walk In-Walk Out

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She looks at me, with sorry eyes, then closing them, she drops her head. Her fingers circle the ring on her index finger, nervously and aimlessly.

Where have you been? What have you been up to up to? I looked for you in every nook and corner. I looked for you wherever my eyes wandered and I looked for you wherever my heart wandered.

And whenever I found you, all I got was the cold look of a stranger. The innocence was lost and replaced by the ignorance. The love was lost and replaced by abhorrence.

It took a while, and then, it took a long while until I realized I had lost. It did not hurt when I thought I had lost. For I always took pleasure in losing to you. But then I looked deeper and I realized what I had lost and then it began hurting.

The pain was somewhere inside, I wished to touch it, to soothe it, to calm it and to hold it tightly and assure it that things will be fine. But it would not heed to me.

The pain only ceased when you touched it, when you calmed it and when you held it tightly and assured it. But you were not here anymore. So it hurt even more knowing the cure to the pain had just walked away.

I made up my mind and decided to move on. So I walked, I walked until my legs began hurting. But that pain in the heart was much deeper than the one anywhere else. The only way to get rid of that pain was to cause a bigger pain. So I ran, I ran harder and I ran faster. I ran for days, months and years. I ran until I had left the world far behind me.

Then one day, I stopped and turned back for the first time. I was leading the world, just the way you wanted me to. But you were not there to look me in the eyes and tell me I had done it, to appreciate me, to share my joy and bask in the glory. The pain had gone and so were you.

I decide to take it slow now. Time has healed my pain, but the scars on my heart that you had left behind still exist. Then one day while I was smiling again, you walked right back in to my life, without knocking on the door.

You look at me, with sorry eyes, then closing your eyes, you drop your head. Your fingers circle the ring on your index finger, nervously and aimlessly. Its been a long time and destiny has changed hands.

There are a million questions in my head, patiently yet curiously waiting to be answered. Then I see that drop of tear roll down your face and one after the other, the questions begin to vanish. My heart feels the beat once again. The choice was yours then, and you chose to out. I survived with the little memories of us that you left behind. Now we are back to where we had left it unfinished. This time, the choice is mine.

Its been a long time since I had seen you so closely. And every second of looking at you makes me feel standing between life and death. All the questions have cleared from my head, all but one. Should I walk out or should I let you walk in?

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