The Young Man and the Sea

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A young fisherman lived by the port
Ambitious was he, but stuck in a rut
With the sun he rose and prepared his skiff
To sail deeper into the sea, he wished only if

The legend of Santiago, an old man at sea
Long dead before him, and gone with a plea
Spare deep sea fishing, the old man said
Don’t sail unprepared into the sea, till you wish to be dead

So the young man set his net, closer to the land
The same fish he caught every day, the same he sold canned
By sunset he grew angry, for his life seemed so dull
He cursed the old man and the sea, on his luck he mulled

His meal was the same that he cooked in much scurry
He slept through the night, only to wake up in same worry
Will I ever catch a fish, oh so big and heavy?
Or is my life about the same bowl of rice, fish and curry?

When the sun rose again, he woke up determined
Enough of this life that holds me back and confined
Into the deep sea, I will travel in my boat
To catch them all and bring them back to quote

He befriended a tortoise, his guide into the sea
I will show you the way and lead you for free
In his skiff, he sat and he rowed against tidal flow
Till the land behind him looked as small as his toe

They stopped at a few miles and anchored the boat
Prey here, said the tortoise with a hint of gloat
The Young man cast his net on the calm surface of the sea
Caught them fish, among the school of the porpoise

He cut one out in the middle and ate it raw
It gave him strength and delicious it was
If you sailed deeper into the sea, the tortoise said
Bigger and tastier they will get, if you caught them

The sea was calm and the young man adamant
He had not seen enough of his prey, oh so scant
Masked by the greed, he steadied his oars
Deeper into the sea, said he, I will find preys more

He rowed faster and cut the water clinical
Reached the middle of the sea till the land was invisible
Again, he cast his net far and wide,
Caught a fleshy marlin in a direct tide

He savored this one slowly with the salt
Took his time, enjoyed his halt
There are better, deeper into the sea
Said the tortoise again, simply follow me

The land was lost, the young man so greedy
Time was on his side, his needs too dreamy
So he rowed some more and was lost in the sea
Only if he stopped rowing in such ghastly spree

Once again, he cast his net far and wide
This time he caught a shark, too big even for his ride
The shark was young and determined, as was he
Several times it banged against skiff, till it broke into splinters

The young man, scared of his own wits
Pushed the shark away with his oars in scurried hits
His skiff was broken and no land in sight
The night was nigh, and his life in great plight

The skiff floated aimlessly, the oars lost in fight
The young man cried, and broke at his helpless sight
What pains you, asked a dolphin floating
The story he narrated so quickly, no longer boasting

You have learnt your lesson, the dolphin said
Let me show you the way for the price you have paid
Swim to the North, don’t stop at anything
Before sunrise, you will be back for early eating

So the Young man swam, till all his strength was drained
He stopped at nothing, no matter how it pained
The sun was rising, his body giving away
The land was just in sight, at the break of the day

He dragged his feet, walked through the door
Tired and hungry, he dropped to the floor
Pulled himself on to the chair, reached for the bowl
Relished the same rice, fish and curry, finally satisfying his soul

Two Kings and a Rumor

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Two noble kings, King Ratan Singh and King Chatan Singh, once ruled the Kingdoms of Ratangiri and Chatangiri, respectively. The two kings had been best friends since childhood and their friendship was an epitome amongst their subjects. So close were they, that neither would take any fiscal or strategic step without consulting the other. The subjects of their empire were the happiest, as they knew that the friendship between the two kings was the pillar of harmony between the two states. Every year, people from the two states would gather to pay homage to their friendship. Citizens from near and distant part of the country would come with precious gifts as a token of reverence for the two kings.

One fine evening, King Ratan Singh held a jester court in his palace. Artistes and humorists traveled from the farthest corners of the country to amuse the King. In midst session, a clown questioned the king, “My lord! Would you like to share the most amusing incident you have come across?”

To which, the king replied, “The most amusing incident has to be the one when; King Chatan Singh’s clothes were stolen from the lake by a hoodlum, while he was bathing. Poor Chatan had to stay in the pond all morning, until one of his soldiers went back and got him new set of clothes. When I heard this anecdote from Chatan himself, I could not help roll in hilarity.”
Hearing this tale, entire court exploded in laughter. An hour’s amusement later, the court was adjourned. After the session, one of his ministers went home. On arrival, his wife asked him how his day had been.

“It was amazing”, replied the minister. “The king cracked us all with an amusing incident. It so goes that once while our neighboring King Chatan Singh was having his daily bath in the pond, some hoodlum stole all his clothes. Apparently, he had to walk home naked.” Both the minister and his wife had a good laugh at the joke and went to sleep.

Next day, the minister’s wife went to dhobi ghat to wash clothes. Upon meeting her friend Sarla, she said, “Did you here that once King Chatan Singh had to walk back to his palace naked. Some hoodlum had stolen his clothes. Apparently, he used banana leaf to cover his… you know what. Can you imagine that?” Upon hearing this story, both had a good laugh and went home.

Now Sarla went home, where her husband, a soldier of King Chatan Singh’s army was waiting. Upon seeing her husband, she said, “Did you hear what talks are going on in Ratangiri about our king? It turns out that King Chatan Singh was once robbed out of his clothes while bathing in the pond. He walked home butt naked, with only banana leaf to cover his…you know what! And apparently, his leaf was eaten away by a goat.”

Upon hearing this story, the soldier got furious. He went straight to his minister and said, “Sir! A source tells me that our King has become a subject of mockery in King Ratan Singh’s Kingdom. The story goes that, our king roamed the city streets naked, once while his clothes were stolen from the lake. And that he used a banana leaf to cover his…you know what, which later became a goat’s lunch while he was on his way back. Apparently, the palace gatekeeper refused to recognize him and charged him a penalty for derogatory public conduct. I have to say that being his majesty’s soldier; I can assure you that no such incident occurred.”

Upon hearing this story, King Chatan Singh’s minister got even more furious and went to seek audience with the King himself. On seeing the king, the minister said, “My lord! I am ashamed to tell you that King Ratan Singh has caused our kingdom a great deal of embarrassment. The King told numerous of his subjects that, a hoodlum stole your clothes in spite of heavy security. And that you walked the city streets naked with only a banana leaf covering your… you know what. Later the palace gatekeeper refused to recognize you and apparently charged you with a penalty and 20 lashes. This baseless story has sent a wrong message of bungling management of your kingdom. The word has spread like a wild fire throughout the country and you have become a topic of amusement.”

Upon hearing this from his most trusted minister, King Chatan Singh went mad with rage. He soon declared a war on the kingdom of Ratangiri. After days of furious battle, a million were killed along with both the kings.

“Apparently”, no one ever talked about their friendship ever again.

Adam, Eve and Apples

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Long long time ago, God was sitting in his garden of Apples, thinking what he wants to do with his new creation: The Earth. A heavy oval shaped boulder revolving meaninglessly around the hot burning Sun did not make any sense to him. So he went beyond his imagination and created trees and oceans and clouds and mountains and rains and snowfalls. From a distance, the earth looked like a paradise, but something told him that his paradise was not yet alive. So out came Adam and Eve in the garden of apples. God could not be happier at his best creation till date. And so began the introduction part, “Adam, this is Eve, your soul mate, a woman by gender” said God pointing at Adam who was busy scratching his butt and eating apple. Then he turned to Eve and said, “Eve, this is Adam, your other half, a man by nature”.

With in next 2 months, Adam and Eve fell deeply in love; Adam plucked fresh roses every morning for Eve while Eve prepared delicious food for Adam. The days were jovial and they made love every single night. Hanging from the tree branch they sang merry songs for each other and sat under the blue sky for hours watching sunset and adoring each other. Life could not have been more perfect for Adam and Eve. But nothing lasts for ever.

One night, Adam came home after a day’s hard work in the woods. He glanced at Eve who was busy trying to light a fire with lime stones. The most beautiful woman on the planet, and he loved her so deeply. After a romantic candle-lit dinner, Adam looked at Eve flirtatiously and said, “My Lady, Would you like to have a dance with me?” Eve blushed and slipped her hand in Adam’s hand. They danced to the soft whispers of ocean breeze and dancing tunes of sea water crashing against rocks. Eve rested her head on Adams chest thinking, this was all she wanted from life. She could not thank God enough. She looked into the deep eyes of Adam and said, “Honey, am I looking FAT???”

“HUH!!!! What?? You…Errrrr…I..dont…Errr…Honey you look amazing.” Adam stuttered.

“You are stuttering. I look fat, don’t I? Come on say it.”

“No no, not at all. I was just…” He had not even finished when Eve fired.

“I work all day preparing delicious food for you and you cant even say I look beautiful without stuttering.”

“But I….”

“Yeah go on. Tell me I am ugly and my food tastes like garbage. Go on.”

“No I just…”

“You man!!!! You are such a dog.”

“Dog? That’s not even a word. And don’t you dare yell at me for I work all day in the woods for you.”

“Yes you do, and you come home all sweaty and you would not even bother to take your bath once a week. You ugly lazy bastard.”

“Oh no no no woman. Watch your tongue or I will……………….”

And so began the longest battle in the history of mankind. As Adam and Eve ripped off leaves from each others body, God hid himself in his closet forever, away from the battle of MAN and WOMAN, and since has never been found.

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