Hold It Tightly


“What?” I catch her staring at her fingers. One of those moments, when something goes on in her head and she waits till I take the initiative to ask her.

“Why do we have spaces between fingers?” She asks smiling back. I know what she is expecting.

I move close and hold her hand, filling up the space between her fingers with mine. “That is why.” I say smirking.


I am sitting in a cafeteria, my usual table in the corner of the world. I stare at my fingers; the space has been there for a long time. I stir my coffee with the spoon, a whirlpool forms, and gulps in the sugar. The same whirlpool that gulped me when you stormed out. I sit there in a corner, all by myself, with all the questions bouncing in the back of my mind. The moments have passed by and I have taken shelter under the dark clouds.


“You are not holding it right,” She complains.

“There is a technique to hold a girl’s hand? How come I dint know?” I mock.

“Do you want to let me go?”

“No! Why would I want to let you go?”

“Well then hold it tightly.”


I pick up my cup; it slips and shatters to pieces. I should have held it tightly. That voice inside screams painfully. Too many things have broken. And the time’s run out to mend those things.

The chapter’s closed.

You had told me the last time we talked. Here I was building the castle of cards for you while you were busy blowing whistles. One card gave into the tunes of your whistle and then it came all crashing down. The chapter had closed.

I look at the spilled coffee, dispersing in all directions. Too many things scattered.


I Love You Because…


“Sit here, right in front of me.” I hold her hand and push her gently into the chair.

“How come this table is never occupied in a café this crowded?” She questions.

I glance at the waiter standing at the counter who is busy counting the bribed money. I can’t help but smile.

“You ask too many questions. Just sit quietly for 5 minutes and let me have a good look at you.” I reply trying to change the topic.

“You missed me so much?” she questions again.

“You were gone for months. Could I miss you anymore? Now hush, will you?”

30 seconds later, she breaks into a laugh.

“Oh come on. What’s so funny about it? I just cannot get enough of you. For days, you are there with me and then suddenly, I see you after months. It’s not fair you know,” I complain.

“Why do you love me so much?” she shoots another one.

“That is a stupid question. I can’t answer that.” I sense trap.

“Ok here’s the deal. You answer my question and I will sit quietly for full 30 minutes and you can stare as much as you want.”

“Really?” I ask her surprised, “and I don’t stare.” I add realizing I have been mocked at.

“Yes really.” She promises. “Sometimes it’s good to know you are hot and wanted.” She mocks again.

“Well, I will answer your question, firstly, for the 30 minutes I get, and secondly to clear a few misconceptions in your head.” I wink teasingly.

“Are you telling me I am not hot?” She hits playfully on my head.  “So there are other reasons, is it? Tell me all.”

Clearing my voice, I bend slightly forward and reach out for her hand, looking right into her hazel eyes, I whisper,

“You hold my hand and tell me how scared you are of your father seeing us together. And then, you hold my hand even tighter.

I love you for the fact that you are not scared of being seen with me.

You pull your hair to one side, rest you chin on your palm and listen to me for hours without blinking.

I love you for the fact that you can put up with my boring talks and yet smile back without complaining.

You say your favorite color is purple, and yet you wear grey when with me, just because I said it looks better on you.

I love you for the fact that you dress up for me.

You call me every night to wish me sweet dreams and threaten to dream only about you.

I love you for the fact that you cant sleep without thinking about me.

You never start any argument without knowing the reason why.

I love you for the fact that you are always willing to hear me out.

You already decided how many children you want to have in future and what will be their names.

I love you for the fact that you want us to grow old together.

You know there are better men out there and yet you stand by my side.

I love you for the fact that you make me the best person around.

But mostly,

I love you for the fact that you love me back, even more than I do.

Pieces of My Broken Heart


I look at you, tired, dazed and confused. You look back at me, your eyes are red and your lips are firing sharp words. You throw your wrist watch at me, the same watch I gifted you on your birthday. It hits me hard in the head and I am bleeding, but I dont move an inch. My eyes are still rooted on your lips. I cant read you anymore. Falling in love, so easy, falling out of it, so bloody difficult. You are walking away, and I cant stop you. Why?

It hurts, hurts badly, I cry like a baby, no one to talk to, no shoulder to lean upon. I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling, my eyes wet. My heart beats faster than usual, the loud thump of it against the ribs is driving me crazy. Take your time, get over it, I tell myself.

I close my eyes, the fragments from the past are taking over me. The time when I kissed your wet lips in the rain. When you held my hand and showed me the correct path. The warmth of your hugs and the gentle touch of your hands. You taught me to fall in love, and now I cant get out of it.

My college canteen, we use to lunch together, same plate, same straw, so much for the love. I grab a bench, my trembling hand moves to grab the fries, cant eat them, appetite dead. She walks in, the same smile that I adored so much. The smile’s not for me. A hand around her waist. She leans on his chest, says something, cant hear her. Probably making the same promises we made a couple of months back. No food for me today, time to let those emotions take over.

My head is heavy and the wound wont heal. All that is left of you are the fond memories of us.You have captured my mind, soul and body and I cant break out of those shackles. Its ironic how those moments that we laughed heartily, are now making me cry. One summer life is so perfect and the very next so messed up. My broken heart is beyond repair. But I have learnt to cry underneath the smile. And I have learnt to live with those memories and invisible tears.

A Kiss in the Rain


She sits at a distance, her eyes gazing into the endless sea. Some thoughts are running through her head. The cool breeze blows smoothly through her hair bringing the celestial scent of them towards me. Waves after waves keep clashing against the rocks, but even they fail to distract her thoughts.

“It’s going to rain.” I break the silence.

A Kiss in the Rain

She looks at me, biting her lips but does not say a word. An awkward silence follows. I look back into the sea, and then deep within myself. How do I tell you? I am so scared of losing you.

My heartbeat’s pacing and I want it to stop for a moment.

Take a deep breath, mutter some courage, and say it, I tell myself.

“How long are you going to sit that far from me?” I say.

She looks at me now, a smile spread across her face, “I thought you did never ask.”

She moves slowly towards me, I open my arms as she slides in. She rests her head on my shoulder and I close my arms around her. A warm feeling rushes inside me, “I don’t want you to go.” I whisper.

“Shss!!” She checks my lips with her finger. “Don’t say anything. Just hold me like you would never want me to go.”

It’s started to drizzle now and the wind’s blowing hard into us. The clouds burst into continuous thunder. “You are safe with me sweetheart.” I hold her tightly in my arms, separating her from the outer world.

She looks at me like a confused soul and slowly closes her eyes. Her lips are wet and the wind has blown her hair across her face. I gently brush them behind her ears.

It’s getting colder and the sight of her trembling wet lips is more than I can take. I kiss her gently now holding her like I did never want her to go. Her lips are pressing harder against mine as she holds on tightly to my collar. The moment passes by as quickly as it came. She opens her eyes slowly.

I look deep into her, “I love you.” She doesn’t respond. Her eyes staring into mine. She pulls me back in and we kiss again. The rain’s at its best pace, wetting us thoroughly. The waves crashing harder into the rocks and making a loud crackling noise. “I love you,” I whisper again.
“You know I won’t be here to love you back.” She responds finally.

“Then don’t go. We are so good together and I will love you till eternity. That sweet smile on your face, I will never let fade. And I will protect it for the rest of my life. Please don’t go.”

“You are making it harder for me. You know I cannot stay. I have to go.” She makes some distance and walks slowly away from me.

“Then I will wait for you till you love me back the way I do. I promise.” She turns around for a final look but fails to notice my tears in the heavy rain.

“I promise.” I whisper.

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